Nothing Ventured
by FromTheDepthsOfInsanity
Summary: -Modern Universe Setting- "Didn't think 'cautious' was in your vocabulary." "Has to be. At least some of the time, but uhh..." Luffy's face scrunched up in thought, "'Nothing ventured, nothing gained' That's the phrase right?"
1. Chapter 1

**Warnings:** Yaoi/shounen-ai/boyxboy, ZoLu, KidLaw, Vampire!Zoro, Alternate Universe, Established Relationship, Mentions of Sabo-x-Luffy and Sanji-x-Luffy, and Minor Law-x-Luffy  
 **Summary:** -Modern Universe Setting- "Didn't think 'cautious' was in your vocabulary." "Has to be. At least some of the time, but uhh..." Luffy's face scrunched up in thought, "'Nothing ventured, nothing gained?' That's the phrase right?"  
 **Disclaimer:** One Piece is the property of Eiichiro Oda, Funimation, Toei Animation, and Fuji TV. I make no profit, nor will I ever, from this work of fiction.

 **NOTHING VENTURED  
RORONOA ZORO AND MONKEY D. LUFFY  
PROLOGUE**

* * *

It was a trek he had made thousands of times before. During his days in middle school, he was led by the hand through; his days in high school were spent being chased through; and now, as he left the restaurant he frequented, he walked with confidence down the well-loved paths. It hardly mattered that it was dark as he turned down the alley that started the maze of shortcuts to his home. Ace would certainly throw a fit, and Shanks would give him a firm look, but both would move on, and Luffy would continue using the familiar cuts regardless.

He pulled his phone from his pocket and frowned childishly at the sheer number of texts asking where he was and when he was coming home. He knew he should reply, but he didn't. It was nightly routine by now. If something was terribly wrong, he would most certainly respond; as it was, Ace already knew where he was and when he would be back. He'd be more worried if Luffy decided to break routine.

Luffy pocketed his cell and a smile blossomed on his face. He still had a few bucks left. Maybe, if he was super, duper lucky, that little store on the corner was still open and he could get some snacks for the road. Already, his stomach rumbled in protest at the little bit of space it had made since leaving Sanji's work.

He rounded another corner, squeezing through the tight space between two buildings and tumbling across the grimy concrete. He laughed, picked himself up, and dusted himself off. Luffy made to hop his way down the rest of the alley, but stopped. There was a rustle, no more loud than breathing, coming from somewhere close.

Luffy cocked his head to the side. No one had ever been down here when he took the shortcut. Maybe a possum? Or a raccoon? He smirked broadly. If he could catch it, he could scare Ace with it. He could see it now: Ace opening his underwear drawer then BAM! Out pops a fuzzy beast. Laughing, he ran toward the noise, but only found shadows and trash cans.

"Aww," He whined, "No fun."

He went to turn and continue on his way, but as his muscles tensed to follow through, uneasiness and excitement settled on the young man. Luffy was no stranger to danger, but he couldn't quite decipher if what he was feeling was in fact dangerous. Danger felt kind of sharp, and kind of sweaty, and a little shivery. Luffy felt something sharp, but not so much sweaty and shivery. He looked at the near-pristine bins near him and pouted. He wasn't above dumpster diving, but he didn't feel like anything but bad smells were in there.

"Oi! Come out, come out!" He shouted through cupped hands.

A crunch, like candy under a heavy boot, came from behind him. With a broad smirk, he whipped around swiftly, arms wide open and ready to grab onto whatever it was. He very nearly tackled the presence, but was stalled immediately. A man stood hunched, his only crutch the wall to his left, and was drenched in dark, thick blood.

His hand stretched out, reaching for Luffy with quivering fingers, "Please," He rasped with a slight wheeze, "Please, help me."

He tried to step forward, to just hold the boy's hand and plead for his life, but he fell like a puppet viciously cut from its strings. Luffy immediately rushed forward and pulled him up from the filthy pavement. In the shadows, he hadn't seen much other than his silhouette and colors, but up close, the smell of blood was overwhelming to his senses, invading his nose so violently he could taste the metallic on his tongue and down his throat. The man was as pale as moonlight, and his skin was stretched so tightly over his body that the definition of coursing cords of muscle and tendon alike could be seen clearly.

And because of their closeness, Luffy saw exactly from where the impossible amount of blood had come.

A gash, deep enough to expose bone and organ, ran from the man's right hip to his left shoulder. The edges of the wound were burnt black, and the surrounding skin was a flaming red.

He shouldn't be living. He shouldn't be alive at all. The cut was too deep. There was too much blood. The thoughts swirled in Luffy's mind as he stared in shock. He shook and could barely hold the man's head up anymore. He laid him against his chest and fumbled uselessly in his pocket for his phone.

"Call," Luffy croaked, "Call, doctors. Ambulance."

He turned the phone's face toward his own, slid his thumb over the screen to awaken it, and smeared the sticky red across it. He dropped it in surprise. Already, he was covered too.

The man's hand snapped savagely onto his chest and gripped his shirt hard enough to tear deep slits through it, "No, don't. I don't need them."

"But-" Luffy tried.

It was only a flash, but it caught Luffy's eye immediately. At his chest, the man's nails glinted like onyx in the dim light. They were long, sharp, and dark, not human nails at all. Marble talons, they were, ready to tear into flesh, hook in and never let go.

Hot breath at his neck had Luffy turning his gaze back to meet the man's, "Please, let me do this."

His pupils were blown wide. It was an eclipse of galatic proportion. A large dark moon had moved to swallow the bright, shimmering, sapphire sun of his irises. Still, the star blazed around the black edges with an unnatural flame that drew Luffy in and melted the more fragile bits of his icy anxiety.

It took only a blink to break the spell and make Luffy's eyes wander to the man's mouth. Fangs. Tiny pinpoints of white flicked at the graying lips trying hard to conceal them. The longer he stared, the more they seemed to lengthen. Two longer, two shorter around the man's eye teeth; both pairs sharper than any blade or needle and just as eager to slice through warm flesh.

 _Vampire_.

 _Night Child._

 _Predator._

Luffy let out a shaky laugh, a nervous flutter in relief, "You're a vampire," He said simply, "I'm so glad," A sigh, "You're not going to die."

The man said nothing back to him, only stared with every bit of shock he could muster. Luffy adjusted him against his body, allowing his head to rest on his shoulder. He shook still, but the aftermaths of adrenaline and fear couldn't be tossed off so easily.

"I'll help you," Luffy smiled, "Just, don't kill me, alright?"

The man didn't take a moment to consider the possibility of a lure, a trap to kill him very horribly. His teeth immediately sought the rushing, addictive, life-giving nourishment he so desperately needed.

Luffy arched against him with a cry as clawed hands snapped around him and didn't let go.


	2. Chapter 2

**Warnings:** Yaoi/shounen-ai/boyxboy, ZoLu, KidLaw, Vampire!Zoro, Alternate Universe, Established Relationship, Mentions of Sabo-x-Luffy and Sanji-x-Luffy, and Minor Law-x-Luffy  
 **Summary:** -Modern Universe Setting- "Didn't think 'cautious' was in your vocabulary." "Has to be. At least some of the time, but uhh..." Luffy's face scrunched up in thought, "'Nothing ventured, nothing gained?' That's the phrase right?"  
 **Disclaimer:** One Piece is the property of Eiichiro Oda, Funimation, Toei Animation, and Fuji TV. I make no profit, nor will I ever, from this work of fiction.

 **NOTHING VENTURED  
RORONOA ZORO AND MONKEY D. LUFFY  
PART 1**

* * *

"Captain," A woman's voice sang to him. He could hear snickering and hissing whispers as well, "Captain," Luffy's eyes fluttered open and connected with the unmistakable Neptune blue of Nico Robin's. The laughter and snickering was louder now as Robin stared firmly down the bridge of her nose at him, "Glad you could join us, Luffy."

He grinned from ear to ear and lifted his head from the puddle of drool he had left on desk in front of him. He used his sleeve to try (without success) to sop up the sleepy mess. Robin shook her head.

"Late night, Captain?"

Luffy could feel the delighted flutter in his chest at the nickname. A college Halloween-party fiasco involving a pirate costume and a papier mache ship had won him the title. The other professors had not been charmed by the chaotic, uncultured, destructive series of events. Thankfully, Robin had been tickled, and lovingly christened him "Captain." Rum and Luffy had never been better friends, if he did say so himself.

"Yeah," He nodded, still smiling.

"Have all the fun you want, Luffy, but do not sleep in my class please. I would like to see you pass."

"Shishishishi, sorry!"

The collective giggle petered out to nothing as Robin gracefully descended the stairs back toward her desk at the lowest level. Robin opened the book in here hands, expertly flipping the pages in a gentle arch, "Page 198, if you will."

A chorus of paper followed, and Robin cleared her throat,

"Dictated by Samuel of the South and transcribed by the historian Aurora 'Bad Luck' Baker."

"Bad Luck Baker?" Luffy perked up with a grin spreading across his face. All eyes turned to him, having dared to interrupt Robin, "She was a pirate!"

The dusky beauty giggled, "Yes, she was, Luffy, but unfortunately that is not our lesson today."

Luffy groaned and melted into his desk, letting his forehead connect with the hard wood. Robin continued.

 _"Before I begin, I would like it to be known that the meeting between Samuel and I was entirely selfish. We needed each other; he needed an ear, and I needed validation. Samuel claims to know the root of it all and, more importantly, how to best them, defeat them. My own encounter with the Stalkers has left me disquiet at best and dysfunctional at worst. I will record his words in hopes that I will read them later and regain some comfort._

 _" 'Like with most origins, the true date has been lost. I only know now that it began in some dark corner on the outskirts of civilized human society. No one cared to pay attention to the mundane goings on, to the backwards rules and malicious wrongs, dictating the blighted country. Feuds were everyday life; neighbor against neighbor, brother against brother. No light could brighten the darkness. No lovely flower could bloom._

 _" 'Though weeds were quite common. Callum and Eben, the Thieving Twins, were among the recently sprouted gutter plants. They knew no home and no warmth, and by the edge of the knife and the tips of greedy fingers, they lived. They robbed and they stalked their way to the top of the heap of filth, uncaring of whomever they wronged on their path. Their lives were harsh and cruel, bitter and rewarding._

 _" 'But every pile has a top, and while Callum and Eben were content to share their spoils as they always had, others were not so willing. Two kings could not wear the same colors; Hitting one target meant the downfall of both._

 _" 'In climbing, in stumbling over corpses and adversaries, the Thieving Twins made bruised enemies, who emerged from their heavy footprints; enemies that climbed the path they left, that stalked in their shadows, that raged and snarled at every victory. They waited for carelessness and did not have to wait long. Callum, the younger, the relaxed and obedient, slipped due to an act of sly betrayal, fell from his kingly perch, and was lost in the teeming writhe waiting below._

 _" 'And Eben sorrowed at the loss of his brother at his side. In so doing, he too was pulled from his throne, just as his brother before him, to the rabble beneath him, but did not succumb to their murderous ways. He fled into darkness, fled deeper into their dark country than anyone had ever dared; he stumbled, he ran, he fell, and he sorrowed the entire way._

 _" 'Eben finally came to rest in a cave long abandoned by any living being. His muscles burned along with his heart, "Why Callum?" He shrieked into the suffocating darkness, to the stones wet with their own tears, to the depths unexplored, "We did all things right. We were Kings where there were none. We may be filth, we may have greed, and we may tread heavily, but we did all things right. We were Kings among Foulness, and now, the Twin Tyrants are down to one."_

 _" 'Eben's agony would not stay with him; it quickly turned to a maddening frenzy that burned too hot to control. Steam bellowed from the lost cavern, and Eben's resentment served as a beacon to a beast that slept too long. From deeper still it crawled, following the mouth-watering smell of passionate rage, to where Eben lay seething and plotting._

 _" 'It spoke, "I've felt your anger and your anguish. Not since my own have I felt it so keenly. You wish revenge and thus, wish my tools. I offer an exchange. I offer power that even the King among Foulness could only dream. I offer my services, if you will offer me yours."_

 _" 'Without hesitation, Eben agreed, not knowing the consequences his vengeance and ignorance would wreak._

 _" 'The beast grabbed his arm with a clawed hand and slashed open his wrist. His blood flowed freely over the rocks that laid at his feet until he nearly crossed the threshold into the afterlife. The beast partook of Eben's life and filled him with its own. It perished, but was not lost. Its terrifying body was only a temporary vessel. Eben would take its place. His soul would be burned away to nothing, and the beast would roam in his skin, forever unbound to the cave it was trapped._

 _" 'But Eben would not be consumed. His body was changed by the creature, but not enslaved. His eyes reflected the light and were as dark as pits; his nails became claws identical to the beast's, blackened and hard; his teeth shifted about in his mouth, sharpened, and grew eager. The need for revenge burned ever greater in his chest. Eben was a demon of vengeance, a predator of the wronged and wrongful, again the King of Putridity._

 _" 'From memory, he hunted those who slew Callum, partaking of their blood in his frenzy and glutting himself beyond recognition until he alone stood in the circle of corpses and flowing red. The sun rose, and with it came the first of many hindrances the beast bestowed upon him. Without the darkness to shield him, Eben burned; his flesh peeled from him in pale, tight curls and flecked with black as if touched by an open flame._

 _" 'He was forced to retreat back into the beast's home, where he wait for night to fall again as he recovered. His second night, and every night thereafter, he was plagued by another flaw. The Hunger. He starved and craved, but no food could fill his stomach, no water could quench his thirst. Only blood, fresh from a victim's vein, satisfied._

 _" 'Eben swept across the Country of Corruption like a blight, stretching himself further and further each night. More beasts like him sprung up in his path, more terror instilled into the populace. They hunted as only ravenous, rabid animals could. They hunted until there was almost nothing left to hunt. They hunted until they were hunted._

 _" 'Bravery sprung from fear. Hunters followed their footsteps in the opposite direction until they found the original beast's lair. There, glittering like jewels at a lady's throat, lay seeming miles of rock flecked with blood. In hopes of some help, the hunters gathered them all and fled._

 _" 'Enchanters read them, listened to the songs of still living blood trapped in the shimmering stones, and bent them, sculpted them, into weapons the Hunters could wield easily against the Cavern Kin, for only the crystals spotted with the blood of their human lives could harm. The BloodStone could burn when the sun couldn't shine._

 _" 'And they were hunted in return, but were not defeated. Even as Eben was slain for all to see, for all to cheer over his death, joy and promise withered into remorse and sorrow as his kin did not burst into flame after him. Still, Hunters scour and search, and the Cavern Kin still plague._

 _"Samuel seems convinced this part of the tale is wrong. He believes Eben still roams and hunts. Whether he does or not, I cannot say. Though, with certainty I can add that his story has left me more unsettled than I had been before. At least, I now have a potential weapon, even if the information brings more nightmares."_

Robin shut the book in her hands meaningfully and addressed her class, "It is not recorded in our text, but Misses Baker goes on to keep an extensive journal full to the brim with every tale you can imagine on vampires and night creatures. Each tale is more bias than the last, and her scant notes and feelings are even more colored. Misses Baker was very much traumatized by her encounter, whatever it entailed," Blue eyes scanned the room, "It is the third-year anniversary of the Night Children making themselves known. A momentous occasion to be certain. Historic, if you will," She tittered, "I would like your thoughts."

There was a murmur that circulated. Robin let it pass through before continuing, "Misses Baker beautifully let us know how she felt about her 'Stalkers.' It colored everything she did until she died. Evidence pointed to nothing else. You have a week to compose an essay detailing how this has impacted your own life. Weigh everything. I am giving you time to do so. Take it. Give me life experiences, encounters, stories you've heard, even the outrageous won't be turned away. No opinion is without value, even if one lacks an opinion entirely. Feelings and stories helped shape history just as much as winners have," She smiled, "I'm eager to read your reflections. Class dismissed."

At once, the students collected themselves and began to file out. One took the opportunity to try to vault over his desk to three platforms below, where Luffy still sat trying to shove his book into his paper-glutted messenger bag, got his foot caught, and fell gracelessly. Luckily, his reflexes were quick enough to save him from falling face-first into whatever hard surface caught him.

Luffy laughed, "Usopp should use the stairs!"

Usopp shot him a grin as he stood and pulled fruitlessly at his wrinkled shirt, "Faster just to jump. We still goin' to the restaurant?"

"Yeah! Of course!" Luffy beamed, "Sanji's gonna be so excited to see us! We haven't seen him in like... two months!"

"It's been a week," Usopp corrected.

"Two months!" Luffy insisted.

"Ah, how could I forget?" Usopp said thoughtfully, "This is just another City Mystery, the Time Escape," He nodded with his arms crossed as he shimmied out of the narrow row of chairs to the steps, "This one will be tougher to solve. How does one catch time? Or better yet, how does one catch time and give it back to people? Hm."

"Sounds like a job for your Brave Adventurer, Soge-something. Is that gonna go in your book? Is Soge-thing gonna figure out how to put time right? Who did it? Tell me!"

"Sogeking," Usopp snipped, "You know better than to ask that."

Luffy pouted, "I wanna know! It's no fair that you only tell Kaya things! You used to tell me lots of stories."

"Kaya is my editor."

"I could be your editor too! Kaya and I could both be editors!" Luffy exclaimed, following him to the door. He stopped briefly to shout over his shoulder, "Bye, Robin!"

She giggled, "Good day, Captain."

"I'm surprised you can spell your name right half the time," Usopp countered.

"Mean! That's mean! I'm telling Ace!"

"He'll just agree."

Luffy stuck out his tongue.

.::||~||::.

"Huh? Sanji doesn't work here anymore?"

"I thought you knew, Luffy. His last day was four days ago."

"Maaahhhh, who's gonna sneak us food now?" Luffy complained.

Makino giggled, "I wouldn't mind grabbing you something small if you're that hungry, boys."

"Yes!" Luffy exclaimed.

"It wouldn't be the same," Usopp shook his head, "Sanji's food was the best."

"Spoiled rotten then," Makino concluded, "But if you don't want anything, that's fine too."

"No, no! We want things! We want all the things!" Luffy argued desperately back, "Food! Food!"

"You know where to wait then. I'll be right back."

Usopp and Luffy soon found themselves in their normal haunt, squished between dry product boxes and a metal rack stuffed with kitchen necessities. Makino's idea of something small ended up being a small feast for twelve; or in Luffy's case, just Luffy with enough for Usopp to fill his stomach. That was fine by them. Even Sanji had had his limits. Makino seemed to have none.

"I wonder where Sanji went," Usopp said through a bite of roll, "Think he opened his own place?"

Luffy shrugged with cheeks bulging. He attempted to say something and looked to Usopp for a response. Usopp just shook his head.

"I can't understand you. We've talked about this."

Miraculously, Luffy swallowed the plate's worth of food down and smiled brightly, "Maybe he did! Maybe he got a job at the Baratie with Zeff! We should go see!"

They both were silent for a moment before hanging their heads.

"No, no, we can't," They said together.

"You just had to break their wall, didn't you, Luffy?"

"I didn't do it on purpose! I even helped fix it!"

"Patty and Carne will never let us back in. They hold grudges to the death, you know."

Luffy pouted, "I know. Well, Sanji will see us sometime! He'll tell us then and then we can see what new food he can sneak for us!"

"So much for going to see Sanji just to go see Sanji."

"If I want to see Sanji and not eat, I'd call him."

"When was the last time you did that?" Usopp quirked an eyebrow with a knowing smile.

Luffy shrugged, unfazed by the implication, "I 'unno," Luffy frowned a bit, "We haven't really talked much at all now that I think about it. We're friends. Friends don't just not talk. We're both in school, and he's always working," Luffy sighed, "Kinda miss him, Usopp."

"Then call him."

"You don't miss him too?"

"Luffy, we saw him a week ago."

"So long ago."

Usopp made a face and savagely bit into his food. There was no use trying to talk his way into proving how a week wasn't as long as Luffy thought. He had a dog's sense of time; gone for days, actually gone for three hours. Luffy was taking his advice though. His phone was out, dialing, and too his ear as he munched away happily. He waited and waited, and finally a voice.

" _We're sorry. The number you have dialed has been disconnected or is no longer in service. If you feel you have reached this recording in error, please check the number and try your call again._ "

"Huh?"

Luffy tried again.

" _We're sorry. The number you have dialed has been disconnected or is no longer in service. If you feel you have reached-_ "

Luffy hung up. Usopp cocked a questioning eyebrow.

"His number doesn't work anymore."

Usopp's eyebrow when higher. He was almost tempted to ask if he dialed it right, but the one thing Luffy didn't do was screw up phone numbers. Ace had drilled the practice into his head, and miraculously it stuck. Usopp tried his own, but was presented with the same message Luffy had gotten.

"Maybe he just changed it?"

"Without telling?" Luffy looked more hurt than worried.

He immediately backpedaled, "Or maybe his phone is broken. He's pretty terrible with them, you know."

Oh, they knew. In a fit of almost comical rage, Sanji had crushed a phone in his fist. Another time he'd dropped one in the river; another lost its life to his front and back tires; and yet another had felt the cold, unrelenting beating of lawnmower blades. All had happened within six months. Sanji was not kind to his phones.

"We'll go bang on his door later, Lu. Maybe he can help us with Professor Nico's paper."

"I don't need help."

"You need all the help you can get."

He stuck out his tongue, "No! I know exactly what I'm going to say!"

"Oh, yeah? 'Vampires are Cool,' written by Monkey D. Luffy."

"Vampires **are** cool!" Luffy exclaimed, "But it's going to be even cooler because I'm gonna tell 'em all about Zoro," Usopp said nothing. His face screamed his disapproval for him. Luffy made an ugly face back at him, "Zoro is cool."

"Zoro is scary."

"Zoro just _looks_ scary."

"That's enough for me."

"Zoro's also really smart, so I don't need Sanji's help writing this one."

"Zoro looks like he can't tell left from right."

Luffy's trademark smile blossomed across his face, "Sometimes he can't."

"Wow."

"Cute, right?"

"Ugh, Luffy."

.::||~||::.

"I'm back!" Luffy yelled as he shut his front door behind him and toed off his shoes, "Ace! Shanks! I'm here!"

Nothing. He ventured into the kitchen. Already, his stomach protested not being miserably full, but he would hunt for snacks later. Dropping his bag onto the bar chair, he was drawn to the note on the counter. Blah blah blah, be home later, blah blah blah, Ace is with me, blah blah blah, bringing home dinner.

All alone then. He wished he had taken up Usopp's offer to go bug Sanji. Maybe he could call him.

Luffy immediately dropped the idea. By now, Usopp was probably at Kaya's cuddling on the couch with her or something. He couldn't put himself between the pair of... whatever they were to each other. Usopp adamantly insisted that she wasn't his girlfriend, but for two people that weren't a couple, they sure did do a lot of couple-things. Not that two friends couldn't be lovey-dovey with each other, but...

The whole thing was confusing, and Usopp wasn't clear enough for him. He'd have to ask Kaya just what was up because Usopp was going to give him the runaround forever.

Or maybe he wouldn't. It wasn't his business. Usopp could do whatever he wanted. Getting in the middle of all that mess sounded like a lot of no fun anyway.

But it did serve as a distraction. Without Usopp, Shanks, and Ace to fill up his time, Luffy was left to boredom. He pouted at the thought. He didn't like boredom. There was always something fun to do somewhere, but without someone to do it with, it lacked. He supposed his search for snacks would have to be moved forward to now. And he had the perfect ones in mind.

Smiling brightly, he headed over to the cabinet bedazzled with the letters of his name and drawings in varying degrees of appropriateness. It was truly an eyesore, especially in their pristine kitchen, but it had to be done. Early on, Luffy and Ace took to fighting over scraps and choice treats; to remedy, they cleared out spaces in the house to horde their delicacies. Luffy had gone the conspicuous route. Ace had not. To this day, Luffy hadn't found where he hid everything, but that was alright. There was no need to go rummaging about in each other's stores. They respected that glaring boundary.

Well, usually. There would always be exceptions.

Luffy's jerky, it seemed, would serve as an example. He stared at the small mountain that spilled out of the cupboard. Cookies, chips, cupcakes, candy, and even the dreaded mystery pop-tart tumbled out onto the floor, but no plastic bag with his name written in fancy scroll across it. He sifted through the mess, hoping it was just buried, with no luck. It was utterly gone.

Shoving everything back and slamming the door closed, Luffy rushed to the trash and flung off the lid with such force it flew through the air and clattered against the tile. There it was, crumpled and caked in mystery stains, the plastic baggie with only a few shards of dried meat left inside.

"No!" Luffy wailed, "That was mine! Sanji made it just for me!"

The creak of a floorboard snapped Luffy from his despair. He turned.

"Huh?"

He found nothing and pursed his lips. He turned back to the misery-inducing scene and frowned. It would be his luck to miss out on something so delicious. He should have hidden it better; maybe then he would have had three bags instead of just two and a half. He didn't want to have to ask Sanji for more. He knew it would be useless as it was a yearly treat.

Another creak resounded and Luffy perked up. It dispelled any notion he might have had about the house just settling or him hearing things. He whipped around again, determined to find the person the heavy feet belonged to.

"Hey! Come out, come out!"

He spun around again at another creak, but was still a moment too late. The game began. A creak and a turn. Luffy followed it through the house, only to end up back where he started after long minutes of the chase. It was no fun being led about without an ending in sight! He called out to the intruder again, trying to get them to respond, when, without warning, his vision went dark.

"Ah! I've gone blind!" Luffy yelled, hands flying up to his face. All fright left him as his palms covered fingers and wrists, "Hands?" He laughed, "Hands!" Gripping them, he tried to pull them away to little effect. When that failed, he felt them all over, going so far as to explore arms and elbows, "Whose?"

One hand dropped, but his vision didn't return, much to Luffy's dismay. Long fingers stretched to take its abandoned spot, and the free limb snaked around his waist.

"Let go! Let me see you!"

A gentle bite to the shell of his ear made him jerk in surprise, and the nibble to his neck sent him into peals of laughter. He tried to squirm away, but all he managed was to get wrapped up tighter in his captor's hold.

"N-no fair! Really no fair!" Luffy laughed, "You snuck up on me!"

As suddenly as it started, it stopped. Luffy panted a moment as he calmed his giggles and broadened his smile as he was released. Immediately, he spun on his heels, ready to attack, fingers eager and wiggling, and nearly collided with a taller, broader frame.

Chocolate brown eyes lit up with delight, "Zoro!"

Luffy's arms snapped around his neck, his lips crashing near-painfully against his, and his weight pulled him down. Zoro rocked unsteadily as Luffy lost control of his stance. He couldn't stop the sudden slip, but he did catch the ground before he fell and crushed Luffy under his body. He wrenched himself out of the kiss and frowned down at the human.

"No, Zoro, come back down," Luffy whined through pursed lips.

"You were awfully surprised. Who did you think it was?"

Luffy's smile bloomed and brightened, "It could have been anybody!"

"It could have been anybody," Zoro repeated with a scowl, "You should be more wary, Luffy. I could have been someone else entirely."

"But it was Zoro!" He exclaimed, "Ah! Zoro! Have you been waiting here all day? You know I have school!"

"Don't pick and choose what you want to hear!"

In an instant, Luffy's demeanor changed, "Zoro! Did you eat my snacks while I was gone?!"

"Don't change the subject!" Luffy didn't relent in his ireful glaring. Zoro felt the vein in his temple throb, "I didn't touch your snacks!"

"I bet you did! They're all gone! They were so good too! I can't believe you! You're the worst!" Luffy's palms pushed against Zoro's face, "I don't want any more kisses from you! Get up!"

"I don't eat, you brat!"

"Ah, that's right," Luffy sobered, "But if it wasn't you, then," His cheeks puffed up as he thought about more potential culprits. He came to a single conclusion, "Ace," He hissed, "Ace ate them! Zoro! Find something gross! We're gonna hide it in his pillow!"

"Something gross?"

Luffy scrambled out from under Zoro's bulk, leaving him stunned on the floor, and flung open all the cabinets in the kitchen. When nothing jumped out at him, he raided the refrigerator. Just as he was going to open a drawer and dive into the cheeses, he stopped, slammed it all shut, and immediately headed to the cabinet furthest away, grabbing only a container of cornstarch and liquid food coloring. The bulk of the cornstarch was thrown into a bowl with water following shortly after. Luffy's hands dove in, working the white, sticky mixture into a stickier paste.

"What do you think, Zoro? Green is a good color for this, right?"

Zoro was afraid to ask, "And what, exactly, is 'this'?"

"Slime!" Luffy grinned with promise, "I learned how to make it when I was babysitting with Usopp!"

"Parents actually let you watch their children?"

Luffy laughed, "Kaya was there too!"

"Green's a fine color."

Luffy muttered with a small, teasing smile, "Of course you'd think so."

"What was that?"

Zoro was answered with a stuck-out tongue.

Luffy made fast work of his mess and took the stairs two at a time as he ascended, grinning wickedly as he did. Using his foot, he opened Ace's ajar door and immediately flopped onto his bed. It was only a matter of time before the pillow was ripped out of its case, covered in the gooey ick, and shoved back where it belonged. None would be the wiser just looking at the scene if Luffy wasn't a glaring testimony to the lurking filth. Somehow he had managed to cover himself and nothing else with blots of mucus-green.

Absently, Luffy wiped his hands across his pants and shirt, only succeeding in smearing it more and worse, sticking himself to himself. It took some maneuvering, and more than a little grunting and stomping, but he freed his hands and experimentally stuck and unstuck his fingers from themselves. Zoro leaned in the doorway and watched the show. Beg as he would (or wouldn't as Zoro was sure), Zoro wouldn't come to his aid. He wasn't adverse to filth, nothing human really disgusted him, but sticky is where he drew the line.

Luffy unfortunately did not have any lines about him. As he turned on his heel and smirked wickedly at Zoro, he instantly knew what he was in for and immediately backed away.

"Luffy, don't you dare," He warned, bumping into the wall behind him.

"Zoro! Want a hug?"

"Absolutely not!"

"But I _really_ want a hug!"

"And I _really_ don't want one!"

Luffy sprung. Had Zoro not been ready for it, he would have been stuck to Luffy in no time. The chase was on again, with Zoro truly being the hunted. It's what he got for playing games with Luffy and riling him up. The house was entirely too small for the cat-and-mouse Zoro and Luffy had arranged, but somehow Zoro always managed to weasel his way out of Luffy's grasp.

At least, until they wound up in Luffy's room. Zoro could have easily taken to the window and left entirely, but the moment of indecision was all the human needed before he tackled him, sticking to him thoroughly and completely. They tumbled and rolled before finally coming to a stop. Zoro hovered over Luffy just barely. Their clothing was tacked together in odd places, and Luffy's hand was stuck to his back where it had somehow slipped through the folds of his shirt without getting caught. The other was firmly smacked against his jawline, totally at the mercy of Luffy's tugging.

And tug he did, forcing Zoro to look him in the eye and take in that blinding smile.

"Got you," Luffy declared.

"Yeah, you sure did," Zoro reached up to pull a hand from him, but thought better of it. Somehow he knew it would end in more twister-esque, jumbled-up fuckery, "So, you got me. What now?"

"Well, we're kind of a mess."

"An understatement."

"I guess we're just going to have to take a bath together," Luffy stated simply, but there was a note of something meant for Zoro's ears only.

 _Oh._ Zoro hadn't even thought- Well, Zoro would have to give Luffy more credit. Sometimes, he didn't think the human capable of the long-con, but at certain turns Luffy proved him very wrong.

He smiled, agreed, lifted them both up, and wondered how the hell they were going to get out of their clothing without making this more difficult.

.::||~||::.

"Ah, Luffy's home," Ace commented as he slid off his shoes and glanced down at his brother's.

"That's right. Restaurant night, isn't it?" Shanks followed Ace's lead and smoothly slid past him, "Well, you know how he is with plans."

Ace frowned a bit. Usually Luffy would be stumbling in around now with Usopp in tow, being loud and having a good time. Ace would join in at some point before helping Luffy to bed and walking Usopp home. He was actually the slightest bit disappointed that it wasn't the case this time. But it posed the question as to what Luffy was doing. The house was entirely too quiet. Even alone, Luffy would cause a ruckus. In fact, it was normally when he was at his loudest.

"Luffy!" Shanks called before Ace could, "Dinner!"

When he didn't immediately shoot down the stairs, Ace and Shanks exchanged looks.

Shanks was the first to look away, "Probably napping."

"He'd still come down here," Ace was already at the stairs, "You could think the word 'food' and he'd come running."

"Mmm, true," Shanks nodded thoughtfully. He called after Ace, "Still think he's napping!"

"We'll see," Ace followed Luffy's path up and headed straight for his door, "Hey, Lu. Time to get," He pushed Luffy's door open wide, but nothing greeted him but darkness and dirty clothes littering the floor, "Up," Ace's hands found his hips, "Just like I thought. Wonder what he has in store for us today," He glanced about in the shadows, searching out his brother's hidden frame, "Luffy~ Food~"

He waited a few heartbeats, listening for the grumble of Luffy's stomach, but it never came. It prompted his leave to check other rooms. At least, he tried before being stopped by the light pouring out from under the bathroom door at the far end of the hall. As he got closer, the unmistakable sound of the shower spray and the tiny wisps of steam curling out from the cracks hinted at Luffy's whereabouts. Well, it seemed Luffy didn't have anything planned for them after all. Rather disappointing, if Ace cared to put a feeling to it.

But it didn't much matter. Even if Luffy didn't have any antics planned, Ace most certainly did. He vowed payback after Luffy's brilliant plan to use Ace's closet as a haven for the bugs he had found, and the water balloons filled with shaving cream incident, and the dozen pairs of boxers Ace no longer had because... He could go on forever. Payback was in order, and there was a tiny-pop firecracker with Luffy's name on it just waiting for him to be in the confined space of the walk-in shower.

Dipping in and out of his room quickly, Ace quietly made his way to the door, pushed it open without disturbing the tight, sleeping hinges, and ducked into the steaming room. Just as noiselessly, Ace shut the door behind him, hoping that the sudden change in the air wouldn't betray him. He inched closer and closer and squeezed the tiny cylinders in his grip on reflex. All he had to do was get one lit, throw it over the metal frame, put his back against Luffy's only exit, and wait for the scare.

He expected smooth sailing; it was a rarity that Ace's plans didn't work. Not much could go wrong in the scenario he had concocted. A moan and a sharp, loud gasp stalled him, however.

Through the steam and mist, Ace could make out the shower doors and stopped to decipher what he was seeing. There was little doubt that it was Luffy, but only in parts. His right arm was pressed flush against the slick, steamed surface with his forehead resting on it. His left hand threatened to break through the glass and slowly slid, creating paths of clear in its wake, and his hair followed its lead. The inky blank stuck out at all angles, coursing like desperate, clinging tendrils trying to root and provide anchor. Beyond that was a mystery. The steam hid all, but if Ace squinted, he could see Luffy's open mouth, a broken gate that could no longer hold back any flooding noise.

"Luffy?" Ace stepped forward, plans forgotten and worry overtaking his senses, "Hey, Lu, are you alright?"

Luffy's hand finally slid all the way down, thudded against a railing, curled around it tightly, and gave it a weak shake. He let out another low groan that tapered off into a whine. Ace sprung forward, dropping both firecracker and lighter alike, and wrenched open the door with Luffy's name on his lips. The sound very quickly died and decayed right there on his tongue. Two sets of eyes stared up at him, and he back at them.

The gears in his brain had instantaneously rusted and become unwilling; it took a lot more force than normal to grease and compel them to once again turn as he took in everything he was seeing.

"Who the hell are you!?" Ace finally roared. He was positive his voice carried throughout the entire neighborhood.

"Oh, hi, Ace," Luffy tried a smile.

"Don't you 'hi, Ace' me! You scared the shit outta me! I thought something was wrong!"

"Can we do this in about five or ten more minutes?" Luffy's hands instinctively went to cover Zoro's, which still lay low at his core, "I just need a bit more time."

Ace's brows knitted together, and swiftly, he reached out and nearly broke the handle off the wall as he shut off the spray, "Out."

"Hey! We weren't done!"

"And you, out of the house!" Ace snapped at Zoro, who looked at him as if he was six-eyed and tentacled.

"Hey! Be nice to Zoro! He's a guest!"

"A guest?!"

"What's all the yelling about?"

Luffy looked through the spaces between Ace's arms and beamed as he saw Shanks, "Shanks!" Zoro followed the action, "Tell Ace to go away! It's my turn in the shower!"

"This idiot let someone in here!"

"I'm not an idiot!"

"Oh, a guest then," Shanks gave him a wave and a smile, "Hello."

Zoro waved back stiffly, if not a bit dumbly.

"He's not a guest!"

"If Shanks is home, then dinner's here!" Luffy concluded, ignoring his fuming brother entirely now, "Shanks! What'd'cha bring?!"

"Chinese."

"Yes!" Luffy shoved past Ace enough to grab the towels hanging on the other side and proceeded to wrap himself and Zoro up. He looked up at Zoro with eyes alight, "Wanna stay for dinner?"

"Not sure if there's enough but-"

"I'll share," Luffy said, cutting Shanks off, "Zoro doesn't eat a lot anyway."

A red eyebrow rose up, but Shanks didn't question it, "If you say so. Well, finish up then. We'll be waiting downstairs, won't we, Ace?"

Ace scowled, gave Luffy and Zoro lingering looks, and followed Shanks out, pointedly slamming the door behind him. Zoro and Luffy stood in silence, listening to the resounding drip of the shower head, and caught each other's eye. Zoro's hands found their way back to Luffy's hips, and Luffy's responded by wrapping his arms around Zoro's neck. They kissed as if starved for one another.

Zoro gave him a tug, hoping to pull him back into the shower and finish what they started, but Luffy didn't budge. In fact, he pulled away entirely and stepped out.

"I think I have some of Ace's hand-me-downs in my closet that'll fit you. Come on! I'm hungry!"

As much as he wanted to, Zoro didn't protest. He followed Luffy's lead, going to his room, drying himself, redressing, and heading to the staircase leading down to where Luffy's brother and guardian waited. He hovered at the top of the steps and watched Luffy hop to the floor below from the third to last stair. Luffy gave him a puzzled look upon seeing him still on the second level.

"Maybe I should go, Luffy."

"Huh? Why?"

"I didn't make the best first impression."

"Leaving isn't gonna change that. Besides," Luffy flashed him a smile, "Had to meet them sometime! I can tell Shanks really wants to know you!" Zoro looked unconvinced. Luffy headed back up the stairs and grabbed his hand, "It'll be alright! I promise!"

And so Zoro found himself once again under harsh scrutiny. While Luffy wolfed down his meal and Shanks probed him for information, Ace had a gazed that _burned_. He said not a word to him, but Zoro felt every thought that ran through his brain as keenly as one would a hot poker to the thigh. He wouldn't be caught off-guard again by him and maintained level eye-contact.

"So, Zoro, how'd you meet Luffy?"

"On accident," Zoro said briefly.

"On accident?"

"In the alleyway!" Luffy said with bulging cheeks, "I helped him!"

To this, Ace tensed. Zoro couldn't help but smirk a little.

"The alleyway?"

"Yeah! My shortcut!"

"Still taking it, I see," Shanks shook his head, "It gives you a lot of trouble."

"I find some cool stuff down there sometimes though!" Luffy argued, "I found Zoro there! Oh! And a tanuki!"

Ace finally broke his stare and silence, "You did not."

"Did so! It had horns and hooves!"

"Tanuki don't have horns and hooves. Deer do. And deer wouldn't come this far into the city."

"Maybe it got lost, and it was too small to be a deer."

"Just be careful, Luffy," Shanks interjected, "Mind your surroundings."

"I'm always careful!"

Ace snickered into his container and made a noise caught somewhere between a laugh and a snort. Luffy rounded to him.

"What's funny?!"

"You. Careful? Please."

"I can be careful!" Luffy puffed up his chest, "And I always know what's going on around me!"

"Oh really? Then how did I just take this?" Between his chopsticks, Ace held up a piece of pork, pork that was in Luffy's eating range. Before Luffy could lunge, Ace popped it into his mouth, prompting an attack.

"That was mine!" In retaliation, Luffy tried to take from Ace's, but was caught at the wrists.

"No, you don't!"

The struggle began, "Stop stealing! You already took my jerky! This is my dinner!"

"I didn't take shit!"

"Liar!"

Zoro watched them struggle. At least all of Ace's burning hate toward him was dissipated for the moment. In all the years of his life, Zoro had never felt scrutiny so keenly, or, rather, he never cared to really take whatever thoughts were thrown his way to heart, but something about Ace made him wither just the slightest. He didn't have to, but he'd tiptoe just a little to earn Luffy's brother's favor.

It seemed he didn't have to try so hard with Shanks. The redhead had been giving him the same amount of staring, but none of the ire. It didn't make Zoro any less tense. Maybe it was the lack of malice, maybe it was just the way Shanks was so blatantly looking him over, taking every bit of him in and processing him, that made his skin prickle with gooseflesh. Zoro would accept that for now and force himself to relax around the man. In fact, he might embrace it. Being fake-comfortable would eventually lead to real-comfortable. No tiptoeing required with this one.

"How long have you known Luffy?"

"Nearly eight months."

"Eight months?"

Here it was: the lecture on just how fast he _swindled_ Luffy into bed. The reality was Luffy made the first move weeks back, and Zoro was completely okay with it. Time was never an issue with him, nor would it ever be again so long as he was what he was. He sighed and waited patiently.

"I'm surprised he kept you secret for so long. Luffy's always been a terrible liar."

Zoro certainly wasn't expecting that. All he could think of doing is nod slightly.

"He's not giving you much grief, is he?"

Zoro's lips curled a bit, "No more than I suspect he gives everyone else."

"Fair enough," Shanks chuckled.

"Why ask?"

Shanks paused but kept his gaze steady, "You don't have to be with him out of some sort of obligation, Zoro."

"Obligation?"

"I'm done!" Luffy declared. He had won at least a little bit back from Ace's side of the table, but the war had not been his. Ace still munched away proudly, "Come on, Zoro!" Luffy grabbed his hand and Zoro went willingly. He spared Shanks a quick wave, "Thanks for food, Shanks!"

.::||~||::.

Luffy had all but locked them in his room and babbled away. Zoro only half-listened, getting only the main points in Luffy's tale. What exactly did Shanks mean by obligation? The question plagued him. He suspected it might for a long while yet. It was best not to dwell, he knew, and he also knew the answer would smack him in the face sooner or later, but fresh cuts were the hardest to ignore.

"So that's the story Robin told us. Is it true?"

"Isn't Robin your professor?"

"Yes."

"And you just call her by her first name like that? I thought there were rules about this."

"Robin doesn't care, Zoro. She really likes her name. Now stop avoiding my question and tell me if it's true or not."

Zoro sighed, "It depends on who you believe, Luffy."

"Huh?"

"I guess you could say that one is the human version. Ask any vampire and they'll all tell you different stories. The main difference is in the human tale, the man in question is always a scoundrel. He's usually the cause of a feud or is a national traitor or some shit. In the vampire version, it's never a man, but a woman, who just wants to protect the people she loves, or something to that effect.

"Quite honestly, the truth is probably a mixture of both, or neither. I don't know. I wasn't there. It's really stupid to think about, and it doesn't matter really. Shit happened, and now we're here. Deal with it."

"I'm telling everyone that Zoro said that."

"Go right ahead."

"So what is the story Zoro was told?"

"No, Luffy."

Luffy let out an obnoxious groan and flopped back against the carpet. He pouted and whined, occasionally flailing a limb or two, "Zoro is no fun. He doesn't tell me anything. He's a stick in the grass."

"Stick in the mud," Zoro corrected, "Though, in your defense, your wording sounds better."

Luffy blew a raspberry at him and stared at the ceiling in silence. Zoro would never understand the mix of child and adult that made up Monkey D. Luffy; he reasoned he should give up trying. As he raked his expert vision over the lithe form on the floor, he felt the rise again. It took the tiniest flashes of skin peeking through the folds of Luffy's clothes and the deep rise and fall of his chest to spark Zoro's interest. He'd much rather see Luffy without clothes and breathing a lot more heavily on the floor than childishly throwing a silent tantrum.

Without a noise, Zoro slipped from his perch on Luffy's bed and quickly hovered on all fours over the human. Luffy instantly forgot his irritation and stared up at him with confusion.

"Do you need this paper done by morning?"

"No. Due next week."

"Good," Zoro lowered himself from his hands on either side of Luffy's head to his elbows, and from his knees to rest his pelvis against Luffy's, "Then we should pick up where we left off."

That broad smile Luffy always wore had a tinge of something lecherous as he let it shine at Zoro. Luffy drew his knees up to capture Zoro's hips and his arms to his torso. Neither needed to be coaxed into the kiss that followed. Putting homework on the back-burner sounded like a wonderful idea.

* * *

 **Author's Note:** There's really no excuse for this. I've been waffling with the idea of a vampire-themed work for a long time, but never really knew what I wanted to do. Since reading **Priest** by **YaoiFan124** and since I'm head-over-heels in love with ZoLu (have been for a long time,) I thought it would be a good opportunity to try it out. I don't think I'm happy with the end result, however, at least not with the first chapter. I feel it lacks, and I realize that a foundation chapter is needed, but I wanted this to be a bit more exciting. I can promise it in most of the later chapters however.

Also, I greatly enjoy the humor of the whole series; unfortunately, I don't think I can be as comical, so as a warning, I don't think anyone should expect it. If you do find something funny, however, great! That said, please tell me what you think.


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